~ Moonless starlight ~

A shadow, gloomy, dark, secluded,
And opaquing the light, Was I..

High, I was not, yet i was up so high..
The shadow kept looming, unto the roof,
 inspite of the moonlessness..
Just The stars, smugly and sly..

Gloomy, dark, secluded, I was not,
Yet the gloomy, secluded shadow, stood still..
The frills on the curtains, lay swinging,
The window panes, pale, occult,
turned sheepishly creaky with the whirl.

Swifly swaying the trees at a distant, whispered..
Songs of shrilly silent serenity..
Distant seemed the dawn, to reveille..
Not so distant seemed the sky.

Brisky breeze blew soft, past us.
And the shadow and I, softspoken as ever,
stood silent, unhinged, gazing,
at the moonlessness of the starlit sky.

The eerie stillness of time, was scary..
The slowly reverberating darkness afar, was neigh..
By the shadow, gloomy, dark and secluded..
..Opaquing the light, Was I...

!! Single !!

Watching the love-struck, coochie-coo'ey, couples passing through the streets, holding hands, oozy eyed, and perfectly in harmony with their emotions, its hard not to visualize what could have been. "If only, there was someone who could land those, dreamy eyed stares at you, passionate, soothing, mesmerizing. If only, there was someone, to share those emotional outburts that come out in volcanic proportions from within, every other instant."

Inside the boundaries of self loathing, sadness, and anxiety, one inevitably, starts to reason with their current situation.
"Why I am single? More fun, More control, More of me, and less of everyone else. Nobody to constantly try and please. No one to show attempts of fake appreciation and interest for. As a single soul, I can do what i really want. But.." 
____ and the thought process abruptly halts, at the slightest hint of self pity or in more gentler words, indecision.

Yet, I can never decipher whether its self pity, or a sense of ambiguity created by excessive enthusiastic fun and self-indulgence. But, the fact of the matter remains. The pain of a shattering relationship experience, and the need for the next one to be a happy one, makes it really hard to decide. "Waiting for the right person to come along" - seems the perfect reply to any remarks on your current status. And "Complicated" seems to have become the new and hip statement for one to have on our social networking "Walls" as we call them. Without the embarrassment of being "single" and attracting any sympathetic remarks on being "Married", this was perfect. Let them keep guessing. But then again, "If Only...."

But, the fact of the matter remains, "What Do we Really Want?" I'll have what they're having. Or Anything that comes my way. Let's just call it Indecision for now, But....

~ The Weekend That Was ~

Neverland. The movie "Finding Neverland" never amused me, but the concept of Neverland struck a chord, an inevitable one at that. Its like the end of the world, only without the pain of the journey through the underworld. Its like the "Invincibility potion" without the complexity of the after-effects. Wondering about a lot of things, i always found the word "Weekend Gateway", falsely overrated. Yet, the emotional quotient attached to the mind of an IT employee, who has a 9-6 scheduler pasted to his wallet's left cheek, (theoretically of course), is immensely underrated. And when someone comes knocking at your door, with a "Holiday" plan, and a guarenteed "Stress-Free" couple of days, your head could hardly fan out a vertical motion.

The grin on your face, always overcomes your financial worries, and you are all set. And when amidst the financially chaotic suburbs of my mind, the nerve attached to my medulla oblongata, heard the words, "Trip", it sent the rush of blood running, leading to an affirmation.

And, with the curiosity levels rising at par to that of a newborn, the know-how's started off. After finalizing the fooding, lodging, transportation and visiting places to an economically feasible end, we started off. And surely enough, We were surprisingly, stress-free. Even after having the grossly disfunctional picture of the future ahead that we had envisioned over and over again in our heads, We had a serene calmness of sorts surrounding  us. As we were enroute to the verdurous place called "Waynad"(Kerala), we were calm, and chirpy, and a lot more bouncy than usual.

The place was hot, yet the breezy weather was enough to keep us from sweating, and the scenic splendour of the region was really enviable. Covered with trees, encompassing diverse flora and fauna, the place was really soothing. Had not many local sight-seeing spots to boast about, but the places we did get a chance to visit, were all green, and beautiful. One can spot uncanny urbanization and soaring commercialisation levels hovering over it.


The beautiful landscapes encompassing the region, and the lack of overflowing business establishments, made the road-trip even more engaging. While setting the table for a sit-together of friends, nagging about their lives, and scared of the future, and satirically happy about the past, we shared a meal of blissful local food, and slices of our lives, that we forget to live, while we are out shaping it.

Even without, the misadventures of bungee jumping, and river Rafting, and Para-sailing, we had a blast waiting in queue for the boat ride, and settling for a "Sit On The Bench" experience instead. Not having a clue of our hotel reservations, and paying double the actual amount, to stay at a Cottage without room service, and Camp-fire, wasnt bothering us anymore. We tenderly waited for the "adjustment" of a dinner plan, and indeed enjoyed every bit of it, without a fuss.


Although, The Trip ended with a cacophonic chorus of friends over the sound of "Munni Badnaam Hui", we had found a stressful couple of days, and a bunch of pictures, in saturated number of "poses" to paste on our innumerable social networking pages. A way to find peace amidst chaos, a way to find friends amidst husbands, a way to find meaning amidst meaningless conversations, and a way to find Life amidst days, it was an experience.

Bridging the gap between, existing and living, the trip indeed served its purpose, it made us live it up. Looking forward to the ending of another Week, and the opening of another gateway...

PS - Its my entry for the Mypurpose contest on Cleartrip as well, lets try my Luck! :) Here's the link...
My mypurposeEntry   And here it is on Indiblogger - The Weekend That Was

* The Shining *

She is black, and curvy. The rebel in me was adrift with powerful emotions towards her. She would comfort me with the warmth that i always felt, when she is in my arms. She would stare back at me whenever i felt alone and restless, and i would vehemently keep staring at her, aimlessly. She would guide me to my room, amidst the darkness of the gloomy, timid nights, and the reflections of the streetlights fading away from her perfect body would remind me of her presence, everyday. She would stay with me when noone will, and point me to the right direction, whenever i needed her to.

She would be with me, when noone will. she would not gloat, just rumble away to make me aware of her presence. She would not hold me back, when i had to go, nor would she glorify the need for me to be around her all the time. She is the perfect companion. And i affectionately, yet unwillingly log off from my shiny laptop and walk away, to meet my friends. I can still hear the rumbling though, from quite afar.

Stay away from me.....

Separate yourself from what compels you to relinquish us
Push your way on to me, entirely
Stay away from me, stay away from me now
Less you gonna see, less you gonna see me out

No, I can't dance less it's slow or sad
To a song that's far less obvious
You using me, do it slowly
Make it last until I have to go






- honorary Title.. The lyrics are just so melodramatic.. love it...

^- Big Boss -^

A posh office cabin, with the orderly(well almost an orderly) serving Masala tea by the table, a neatly varnished table to throw my junk at! A perfectly charming secretary to jot down my Todo list, and a silver tipped fountain pen, signifying my status at the company. A vertical, crystal clear sliding window, preferably, with an inviting view of the next skyscraper in the nearing vicinity, mirroring another workaholic wannabe.














I long to use the fountain pen someday, and throw something non-junk-like at the table for once. I long to sip the tea while its still leaking vapour, and to cover the sun, through the glass window, before it sets without me knowing about it. I long to overhear the whispers about my ability to mix with the commoners. I long to understand the woes of the commoner, without being one. I long to belong, for once.

*- Shriek -*

"Stop, Make it Stop!" Have you thought aloud lately? I find it hard to resist!

I was thinking aloud yet again! And the commute by the Company cab, yuck, makes me scream!!

 



The regional radio, that wouldn't stop! The creaky cab windows, shrieking for a tune-up, the honky honks of the harky horns, keeps the eyebrows twitched for the entirety of my journey!

"Shut up", and pardoning myself from every irritated shadow that moved with a twitched eyebrow, mostly from my frowny shrieks, in front of me, i couldn't resist, yet again. Not thinking aloud is just .. plain hard!