^- Big Boss -^

A posh office cabin, with the orderly(well almost an orderly) serving Masala tea by the table, a neatly varnished table to throw my junk at! A perfectly charming secretary to jot down my Todo list, and a silver tipped fountain pen, signifying my status at the company. A vertical, crystal clear sliding window, preferably, with an inviting view of the next skyscraper in the nearing vicinity, mirroring another workaholic wannabe.














I long to use the fountain pen someday, and throw something non-junk-like at the table for once. I long to sip the tea while its still leaking vapour, and to cover the sun, through the glass window, before it sets without me knowing about it. I long to overhear the whispers about my ability to mix with the commoners. I long to understand the woes of the commoner, without being one. I long to belong, for once.

*- Shriek -*

"Stop, Make it Stop!" Have you thought aloud lately? I find it hard to resist!

I was thinking aloud yet again! And the commute by the Company cab, yuck, makes me scream!!

 



The regional radio, that wouldn't stop! The creaky cab windows, shrieking for a tune-up, the honky honks of the harky horns, keeps the eyebrows twitched for the entirety of my journey!

"Shut up", and pardoning myself from every irritated shadow that moved with a twitched eyebrow, mostly from my frowny shrieks, in front of me, i couldn't resist, yet again. Not thinking aloud is just .. plain hard!

To Resolute, Or...

Another year fades away, leaving me angry @ those offensive moments of anguish and pain. At the same time, the moments of serenity, the replenishing morning strolls, try hard at overcoming the anguish. Failing sometimes, succeeding at others, the copious assembly of feelings make my mood swings a tad more uncontrollable.

A new year, as they say, is a time for resolutions, and like the geeky little kid on the first bench of the class, i start counting the ones that had been wasted in the last years, and the ones left to be chosen from! And i mumble .. This year, i will... , nah, not that one, neither that, too optimistic, lame, boring,.. gosh whats left? back to square one. and like the geeky kid, i stare.

Let me just say, Resolutions are for dummies. Ill quit what i like, and take up what i dont! Or something like that. Happy New Year, Mates!

--- Sounds inside my head ---

Advice, as if adding vices to my already tarnished and egoistic soul, my old colleague stood besides me, showering petals of blissful and satirical comments on how to solve my problems.

I was so not ready to take advice, not yet.

As if the sound of my conscience tapping away at my head at will, resembling the woodpeckers hammering through the rosewoods, wasnt enough. It wasnt the first time. Just like the innumerable times, i had rather unknowingly sped past the signal, today too, my conscience was grudging over my incapability to let go of the thoughts of the future.

The reminiscent shadows of the past, were casting incorrigible stains of darkness over my perception of the near future. The many bad things that had happened, have blinded my faith in the good. The bad and the ugly were prominent enough to make me curse many a imaginary "Blame idols", that the human race has grown so fond of, God, Luck and planetary motions included.

But somehow, being the hopeless optimist that i am, i jump to the slightest chance of a comeback for me. That single strike of chance, that make me switch on the Television exactly at that precise moment when my favourite program starts, makes me believe again. "Stupid", i retaliate. Yet, the next homegrown miracle in the form of a perfect cup of coffee, from my rather incapable hands, make me the hopeless optimist again. And that blunt little grinny smile slips right through.

Angsttttttt...........

Why is it that when you least expect it, things go haywire? The simplest of things that work out effortlessly for the next person standing in line, or the one next to him even, won't work out for me? !@#$%% Lame. A frivolous act of enjoyment, gets noticed and judged upon, while that selfless display of bravery, goes unnoticed on more than one occasions.

!@#$%%^ Lame.

Desperately Seeking ...a prepaid punching bag, Any takers???

*- Hazy -*

Legs frozen, the Mind storms ahead.
For i dreamt a dream.. forLorn..
The head steady, the floor lie spinning.
For i puffed a puff.. alone..

The sky muddy, the ground clear blue.
For i took a leap, headOn..
The view hazy, the path curvy..
I dreamt a dream forLorn..

Me and a shadow, mystery surrounds..
Me and the shadow i see..
Silence, chaOs, all in one moment.
I am still not back to me..

The grass Numb, the legs dew-clad..
The hands shaky, no more..
I stand on the ground, cemented..
And I puffed a puff.. alone..

** HelpLess **

I peek a boo, whilst the drops are pouring..
And i melt, like the chocolate cone in my hand..

I steal a glance, @ that strike of lightning,
And i tremble, like the stray kitten by the stand..

I lay with my hands, still as a painting,
Unable to lift it up, unlike my spirits,

I lay there, still as a painting..

I cope a feel of the warm, passing winds,
And i sway, like the curtains beneath..

I smell the lillies, by the flower shop,
And i smell, like i may not ever breathe..

And I wake up smiling, like i never smiled..
For its the First morning of spring..

I vehemently, adore the happiness,
that you oh so lovingly, bring..

Like the subtle break of dawn by the window,
I catch my drowning will, and stand..

On my feet.. Again...
Once again, i Stand..