*- Resolution -*

Songs of Apathy.
Crystalline judgements No more.
Resolute i not, like before.
Something gives, some don’t.
Crashed and burned, more often.
But.
Resolute i won’t.

Grab by the neck,
The Path to the unknown.
Chasing Implausible causes,
Retire.
Blossomed rare, like tulips, hopes.
Uprooted often, akin Forest fire.

Travel, I will, towards it.
Happiness sometimes,
Some gay, some forlorn.
Pages tucked under the pillow, some.
Some mercilessly lay torn.

Alone never, Lonesome rare.
Floating.
In Troubled waters of despair.
Walk down south, to the shimmering horizon.
But.
Resolute I won’t - Like before.

Of what Ifs and What Nots

Way past the days of non-judgmental decision making, i am content for at least a minute of the day, everyday. Why not? I've seen people with worse problems. So, here this one is a happy post.

The late night motorcycle ride i went for stark in the middle of the night, was fun. The lingering thought in my head when i reached my humble abode, was "I should do this more often." I miss the days when there was no sense of curfew just as the dusty clock struck 10. People safe and content, could go out to take a stroll. Just to sip a cup of roadside tea, even.

Devoid of the lurking dangers, the streets were the not alarmingly naked and deserted. Shops would stay optimistic till the wee hours. The sudden urge to have a smoke at the most absurd hours would make a bunch of us get on with our Ninja gears, and head on to the unending never-ness.

And Now, here we are.. Never studied or had the urge to study robotics, yet i know they must feel - the Robots. Adventure sports were never my thing, yet i might just give it a go, just to unmask my hidden talents, if any.

Another deserted night falls, and i search for my Ninja gear. Again!

~ NumbnesS ~

And when i thought, it was coming back to me, it went away.
The hair of my beloved Slipping commotion-less,
Through my shaking fingers, as she left me.
Blinded by the mockery, I motionless lay.

The brightness, withered slowly.
Countless bleeding drops of heartbreak, falling back in my cortex.
Slipping through the moments past, the heart sunk in the growing Numbness.
My shaking fingers, shivered.

Pacing raindrops, ascend.
Ageing senses,
The fire,
Burn alike.

Soulless freaks within,
Scream aloud.
Aimless,
I roam about.

~ Run Away ~

The Rain, Unending.
Merciless showers.
Romance, sucked out of its Serenity.

Showers, Merciless,
Ruefully Abused.
The droplets on the window pane, Unused.
Washed away.
Silent Commotion.
Momentary lapse of Motion.
Another Affectionate swipe,
Darkness,
The end, Still Far Away.

And the loneliness of my deserted furniture,
Averted my attention.
It isn't the Rain.
Evading Romance like Everyday,
I stared through the tinted glasses, Again.
Awaiting the chance,
To Run Away.

~ Life is Beautiful ~

Life, the journey that it is, leaves us with experiences of varied kinds. Some forgotten, some etched deep within our memories. And these memories forgotten, remembered, envisions the beauty of our existence.

The curiosity-clad Innocence of childhood, that made us look at everything with the sole intention of understanding its existence.
The enthusiastic Adolescence, the hunger for experiences, and the enthusiasm of trying out things of all kinds.
The responsibility-clad Adulthood, the quest for stability, the need to sustain, and a family to look after.
The wrinkle-clad Old age, where everything seemed so near, yet distant.

And Within each phase of our existence, the perception of the existence of everything else changed by frightening tangents. The changes impeccably sudden, the longing amazingly contrasting. And with the change in perception, our perception of Beauty changed too.

Withing the realms of imagination, the colorful rainbow went from beautiful to inspiring, and from inspiring to soothing. And as the days grew grim, it turned beautiful again.

The aging heroine of yesteryear's, forgotten only in appearance, still vividly alive in the hearts of her fans, still overflowed with beauty and substance like a cornucopia of allure and elegance. Her beauty cherished and relived through her rarely available movie recordings. Like the aging bottle of scotch, her aroma traveled far and wide. The forgiving eyes of a child that saw past the repulsion and dejection, and offered its arms with trust, beautiful, yet the beauty of it - never heard of.

As we travel through the corridors of life, slightly impervious to its selfless offering of bundled joy, the essence of real beauty still resides, in the innocence of a child, the softness of the raindrops, the calmness of the ocean waves, and "life" within each passing moment.

The poet in me, could not recede my words, nor my fervor to pen down a few -

Scattered  away in moments- gentle,
Drops of joy, to give,
A thing of beauty, enjoyed forever,
So, Stay a while, and live!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have written this for the Yahoo! Real Beauty contest



If you liked the post, Do vote for me here -
Indiblogger Real Beauty Contest Entry
And "like" it there via FB.
Or an encouraging comment would suffice too! :)
Psyche (Sid)

~ Windows ~

Thus, You Let me See through you,
Let feel the drizzle soft,
To Let me 'til Eternity, Stare,
At Petals touched by morning dew.

Through thy Limited Vicinity, Steep,
Many Conscious Dreams I Dreamt,
And Presumptuous, I, Do fondly Dwell,
On 'Em, Unforgettable few.



Morning sun, you Let pass, Slow,
To brighten Grim filled Days,
Let Enter through, your 'sparkle' cracks,
My perfect morning View.


Purple - Red, My Flowers Swell,
Lay sad with Wilted leaves.
Until your passing light rays neared,
And quick, They fondly Grew.




Dark at Night, You would Stay put,
Fighting your Mild Disdain,
To Keep my fears of loss at ease.
Soften 'em drops of Rain.

Dust Lay settled upon my memories,
Gently dead and slain,
'Til you let me see through you,
My Olden, window pane.

-- Happiness --

I not go, to a holy place, To Ask -

Forgiveness for what i did.

Yet, Happiness felt, a long time since,

I played hide 'N seek as a kid.

- I am in such a good mood today. The days ahead seem so promising, these lines kind of made its way out of my otherwise numb brainwaves! :)

I had a nomination for the Perfect Poet award in Week 43 of The Poets Rally. I accept it with this post and nominate Lori ( Immersion Blog-apy ) for the coming week.

~ Dreams filled of HotAir ~

 

A crowd, of strangers, and a sketch board blank. He stared at the distant crowd, and the colorful balloons fluttering away in the vicinity.

With hopeful mist in his eyes, he sat at a distance tugging away at the idea of the experience. He would smile away effortlessly at the merry bunch of children that passed by, without letting his engaging efforts at camouflaging his emotions slip by. He would marvel at the sudden dispatch of hot air and the rising heights of the wooden basket within. His brush strokes sudden and peaceful relentlessly kept darkening the sides of the silhouette. He kept painting the colors with utmost precision, yet the balloon's subtle movements under the caressing winds went un-captured.

The tiny splashes of paint across his face approved of his dedication. Yet the source of his inspiration - hidden within his complacency.

His sincere optimism was visible in his alternate glances to the balloon, surrounded  by a self-infested longing. He would wait for that miracle, for as long as it takes, yet the wait wasn't making him weary. His inability to experience it, was motivation enough for another glaring attempt at immortalizing the picture in front of him. The brush strokes kept growing prominent and darker, yet the dispersing crowd kept alienating his experience.

And with that last balloon, slipping out of his sight, he lent his hand out to his beloved, leaning onto her affectionate embrace, grabbed his crutches, and limped away.


- Written for the "Short Story Slam"  @ bluebellbooks.

- Colourless -

Felt no pain, I lay perfect,
As her shadow cried unheard,
Felt no remorse, i lay untouched,
The fingers gently, went Cold.

Stolen shades of yellow, bright,
Scattered, my borrowed canvas white,
For that abstraction of green, Broken,
Dimly went Unfold.

On that picture of our unison,
With subtle strokes of imagination,
Half dried paint, abandoned,
I had Emptied, my dreams of Gold.

Gently I let go of the crimson,
Lay with lifeless monochrome,
Roamed, I mindless, everywhere,
Searching the rainbow I Sold.

! Simplify !

It's been a while since i had the urge to pen down the things hovering upon my conscience. I could care less about my mundane yet progressive lifestyle. Frustrated yet not dejected, i allow my thoughts to take over. And the turn of events slowly started to demystify.

It was a start, a good one at that, but now i am lost. Unable to separate the wants from the needs. It wasn't always so complex. Just the color of the candy, used to draw the line. But now, its not so simple. Nothing is. How much more does it intend to consume, was presumably uncertain! The Race to accommodate myself within its worldly content that the world, attaches to the lowly yet steeply priced wants, saddens me! I used to have hobbies, now the only hobby that i have scarcely allowed myself to do is to write about how and what used to be my hobby! Love, wasn't just an illusion of a better half! It was something that would relieve me of the lifelessness of the passing days.

After penning down sarcastic remarks on illogical statements of preposterous degrees for a while, i put my "virtual" pen down, letting the urge sink unto its inexplicable ending.

With the rising sun, steadily illuminating its reach, climbing higher up with every passing moment, I ironically dive into the depths of yet another day of Fun, frolic and Frustrated Anxiety. I wish I was back in time. I wish for it to Simplify.

~ Downpour ~

The trees went bent, made way for the winds,
The flowers lay pretty no more,
Broken twigs, Bent, swept away,
Gently rose from none,
the Downpour.

Grew angrier by the moment,
Soft spoken raindrops,
Ominous Nimbus,
Maneuver the light.

Waters rose from down below,
Unto fittings heights of fright,
The feared fists of the humble creator,
Gently rose with fearful might.

Leaves hurled along, in circles,
Lay trembling, hearing thunders Roar,
Leaving bits of past, in ruins,
Gently rose from none,
the Downpour.

Went to dust, in a blink, creations,
End of time, in sight,
Rueful shrieks of  lost, arose,
To stand adrift the smite.

And from neigh, its calm again,
Stagnant, Sky, Azure,
Smearing fright, on hopeful creations,
Gently left, the Downpour.

...Epiphany...

As i walked, aimlessly, towards the corner of that overpowering skyscraper, in the depth of the night, i could feel my shadow converging unto the humongous overshadow of it, the anxiousness dimming, the confidence gently receding, and i heard him say, "What have you to show for yourself?"

And i replied, valiant, relentless, "A lot!"

~ Unheard ~

The Old man,
Walked.
Sunlit Walkway,
Littered and Used,
Signs of caution, Vaguely infused.
Oblivious to his faint presence,
And the creaky bench,
Nimbly blinded by the light,
The hawker screamed with all his might.
Unheard, the Old man walks away,
Resolute and lost.
Until,
Pitiful silence of his denial,
Insatiable Emotions to oust,
And Blinded Silver lining,
hauls him back.
He Bends to straighten his disfigured structure,
And walks back to the hawker,
In all of his fading glory.
He twists and turns,
And stares and begs,
For him to listen to his story.

~ StarStruck ~

To wish upon a star,
I look up, Elated.
Crimson sky, starless.

Empathy, Shallow, Couldn't suffice.
The Want, Agitated.
Powerless.

Ties of Emotions Tepid,
Vivid flashes of vice, Insipid,
Subtle Denial, Emptiness.

Newly Infused Insomniac,
Blemished Virtues i Lack,
Keep coming Back, Haunting.

Gently Swaying Trees Liars,
Silver Moonlight averse, Retires.
Into the Darkness, Endless.

Shimmering Sight of Mournful Glee,
Thinking of What could Be.
I look up.
To wish upon a star.

~ Gone ~

And as the setting sun, started descending on the horizon, it was yet another day getting itself deducted from the equation. Sometimes, it just disappears as if it was never there. No visible outcomes, no probable upsides to it.

The weather, refreshingly cool, the winds surprisingly soothing. The scorching heatwaves- departed, the dreamy moonlight gently paved its way in. And I, capture the moment in my digital camera. Not that i am another budding photographer. Neither am i a particularly keen nature lover. Environmental concerns normally don't make me worried either. Yet, the scene was splendid. And i found myself pledging on reducing my "Carbon footprints", yet again.

It was my day off. Time was not of essence.

Being a part of the non-productive (theoretically speaking) working class, accustomed to the corporate habitat, of late nights, and late mornings, Coffee breaks, and air-conditioned skin-tones, everything was a surprise, as surprising as lottery wins, and mid-year appraisals.

Forgotten pleasures, revisited. One could argue on the feasibility of them being termed pleasure, for some mere routine, for some others not so much. The silently setting sun, made for a splendid view, and surprisingly, i wasn't thinking about the day gone by. As if The promise of a better tomorrow, was shadowing the darkness.Or maybe it was just the moonlight.

~ Vicious ~

And, at the Sight of it,
Its otherwise fake existence,
I was convinced,
It was love at first sight.

Until, you came and went away,
Like it has been, everyday.
You shook your head, Disbelief,
Bleeding heart, Your last foray.

Days of sadness, came and went,
Impassive, But turbulent.
Until i saw my Utopia,
Nimbly Fade Away.

Promiscuous dawn, Subtle Pain,
Shattered, confidence to Regain.
But, At the sight of its mere plausibility,
I was convinced, yet Again.

Lovelorn, wavering heart,
Promised, a future bright.
Look no further, went my repressed conscience,
As if, It was love at first sight.

..The Day The Idiot Box Stood Still..

As usual roomie1 was with the remote, and with the usual annoying grin on our faces, Roomie2 and me, sat down and looked at the television screen.

Roomie2 : "Oh no, Another South movie dubbed in Hindi!"
Me : "Man, i hope its title doesn't end with a "No1"
Roomie2 :  "No i think, it ends with a Tiger!"
Me : "Great, just great!"

And while we tried keeping ourselves interested, we couldn't help but overhear the overwhelming dialogues. Which could only mean one thing. Click, Channel change(which took a little persuasion)! The usual nudge to change the Channels, kept coming at regular intervals. And with every passing change, the sighs of arduous distress went louder.

Roomie1 : "How about the Informative channels?"
Roomie2 : "No. No. I don't want to see Animal mating routines so early in my day! No thanks." (The No being unbearably crass)
Short silence!

The merry-go-round halted at the speech of a Baba, and I could almost hear Roomie2, thinking aloud - "Spiritual channels!" And we sat him and his enthusiasm down with just an angry stare! (Pouting, for the wrong reasons but, yeah that was impressive!)

Roomie2 : Let's switch to the Music channels.
Me : Yeah, Yeah. Let's!

And we waited.
And we waited some more.

No sign. No sign of Music other than the once catchy, now insipidly annoying Airtel theme song. Forcing us to take that step, that step that everyone inadvertently takes at least once a day. The step, that took one man closer to the billions, and the billions closer to their computer screens. We signed onto the "Zuckerberg" franchisee. And with a thump, (a common result of not having the latest LCD model) the Idiot box was silenced, yet again.

~ Rescue Me ~

Eyes, Bewitching.
Gentle, Smile.

I,
Bewitched,
Gently famished,
Lost,
Fragile.

Dubious desire,
Don't be a dream,
Docile, Yet,
Looked around,
Lost & Found.
Grim Soulful Mist,
I,
The optimist.

Your Eyes Bewitching,
Hypnotize,
And I,
Docile, Trapped,
Stained wall,
Silently,
Bleeding Fist.

Profound, compounded cacophony,
In my head,
Gentle Agony,
For one smile.
Rescue Me,
It's been a while.

~ Starting Problem ~

Monday:
10:45 A.M.
Combing my way out of the bedroom, i rushed into my office casuals. It was late, the sun was beaming with more heat, less warmth. Unforeseen circumstances, as usual, have led me here. Not a lot of times, have i overslept! Really! The clock kept ticking with crass audacity. Time flies they say, well i am living it. Rush-hour! The shoes, never were the shoes to be found where i left them. Oh there they are, behind the bathroom mop. Wait a second, why are my shoes behind the bathroom mop? Ah, no time, it was probably me.

10:57 A.M.
My wrist watch! Another misguided disappearance! I can manage without a watch, i assure myself, yet again. Clock's ticking! Time isn't on my side. Why isn't it on my side? Why'd it always have to be so dramatic! Time the savior, Time the destroyer. And, there, it makes me dramatic too. No Time. Why can't I be ready as I always be! Shrugging a little more than usual, was I. The glasses, no, I didn't forget they are on my nose! Thank god for that! No Time.

11:12 A.M.
Time, the savior, Time the destroyer. Dramatic! Ahh, The Drama. It Never ends. And a dramatic glance at the calendar. Wait, what day is it? Monday (_Enter frown'y face here_)! The Manager isn't in today. Great (_Enter smiley face here_).

I was feeling a little sick anyways. 
"Hello Boss, *Cough, Cough* *Achoo*, I think i am coming down with something."
Thank god for Sick Leaves!

-----------
Tuesday :
10:45 A.M.
Combing my way...

~ Dusky ~

Chirp, still say the birds, afar.
Smugly I, dark and weary,
Floating dreams of sanctuary.
Whirl of mortal emotions roar.

Fluttery leafs, afloat mildly,
Tenderly tranquilize my thoughts,
Thoughtless, I lend watch, presumptuous,
and I see some more.

Quirky breeze of change are staying,
Deceitful winds of hope,
Golden tan of sky, retreated,
Gently down the neon slope.

Starless sky fell, dark again,
Like the night before,
As I turn and leave the brightness,
Chirp, the birds no more.

~ Moonless starlight ~

A shadow, gloomy, dark, secluded,
And opaquing the light, Was I..

High, I was not, yet i was up so high..
The shadow kept looming, unto the roof,
 inspite of the moonlessness..
Just The stars, smugly and sly..

Gloomy, dark, secluded, I was not,
Yet the gloomy, secluded shadow, stood still..
The frills on the curtains, lay swinging,
The window panes, pale, occult,
turned sheepishly creaky with the whirl.

Swifly swaying the trees at a distant, whispered..
Songs of shrilly silent serenity..
Distant seemed the dawn, to reveille..
Not so distant seemed the sky.

Brisky breeze blew soft, past us.
And the shadow and I, softspoken as ever,
stood silent, unhinged, gazing,
at the moonlessness of the starlit sky.

The eerie stillness of time, was scary..
The slowly reverberating darkness afar, was neigh..
By the shadow, gloomy, dark and secluded..
..Opaquing the light, Was I...

!! Single !!

Watching the love-struck, coochie-coo'ey, couples passing through the streets, holding hands, oozy eyed, and perfectly in harmony with their emotions, its hard not to visualize what could have been. "If only, there was someone who could land those, dreamy eyed stares at you, passionate, soothing, mesmerizing. If only, there was someone, to share those emotional outburts that come out in volcanic proportions from within, every other instant."

Inside the boundaries of self loathing, sadness, and anxiety, one inevitably, starts to reason with their current situation.
"Why I am single? More fun, More control, More of me, and less of everyone else. Nobody to constantly try and please. No one to show attempts of fake appreciation and interest for. As a single soul, I can do what i really want. But.." 
____ and the thought process abruptly halts, at the slightest hint of self pity or in more gentler words, indecision.

Yet, I can never decipher whether its self pity, or a sense of ambiguity created by excessive enthusiastic fun and self-indulgence. But, the fact of the matter remains. The pain of a shattering relationship experience, and the need for the next one to be a happy one, makes it really hard to decide. "Waiting for the right person to come along" - seems the perfect reply to any remarks on your current status. And "Complicated" seems to have become the new and hip statement for one to have on our social networking "Walls" as we call them. Without the embarrassment of being "single" and attracting any sympathetic remarks on being "Married", this was perfect. Let them keep guessing. But then again, "If Only...."

But, the fact of the matter remains, "What Do we Really Want?" I'll have what they're having. Or Anything that comes my way. Let's just call it Indecision for now, But....

~ The Weekend That Was ~

Neverland. The movie "Finding Neverland" never amused me, but the concept of Neverland struck a chord, an inevitable one at that. Its like the end of the world, only without the pain of the journey through the underworld. Its like the "Invincibility potion" without the complexity of the after-effects. Wondering about a lot of things, i always found the word "Weekend Gateway", falsely overrated. Yet, the emotional quotient attached to the mind of an IT employee, who has a 9-6 scheduler pasted to his wallet's left cheek, (theoretically of course), is immensely underrated. And when someone comes knocking at your door, with a "Holiday" plan, and a guarenteed "Stress-Free" couple of days, your head could hardly fan out a vertical motion.

The grin on your face, always overcomes your financial worries, and you are all set. And when amidst the financially chaotic suburbs of my mind, the nerve attached to my medulla oblongata, heard the words, "Trip", it sent the rush of blood running, leading to an affirmation.

And, with the curiosity levels rising at par to that of a newborn, the know-how's started off. After finalizing the fooding, lodging, transportation and visiting places to an economically feasible end, we started off. And surely enough, We were surprisingly, stress-free. Even after having the grossly disfunctional picture of the future ahead that we had envisioned over and over again in our heads, We had a serene calmness of sorts surrounding  us. As we were enroute to the verdurous place called "Waynad"(Kerala), we were calm, and chirpy, and a lot more bouncy than usual.

The place was hot, yet the breezy weather was enough to keep us from sweating, and the scenic splendour of the region was really enviable. Covered with trees, encompassing diverse flora and fauna, the place was really soothing. Had not many local sight-seeing spots to boast about, but the places we did get a chance to visit, were all green, and beautiful. One can spot uncanny urbanization and soaring commercialisation levels hovering over it.


The beautiful landscapes encompassing the region, and the lack of overflowing business establishments, made the road-trip even more engaging. While setting the table for a sit-together of friends, nagging about their lives, and scared of the future, and satirically happy about the past, we shared a meal of blissful local food, and slices of our lives, that we forget to live, while we are out shaping it.

Even without, the misadventures of bungee jumping, and river Rafting, and Para-sailing, we had a blast waiting in queue for the boat ride, and settling for a "Sit On The Bench" experience instead. Not having a clue of our hotel reservations, and paying double the actual amount, to stay at a Cottage without room service, and Camp-fire, wasnt bothering us anymore. We tenderly waited for the "adjustment" of a dinner plan, and indeed enjoyed every bit of it, without a fuss.


Although, The Trip ended with a cacophonic chorus of friends over the sound of "Munni Badnaam Hui", we had found a stressful couple of days, and a bunch of pictures, in saturated number of "poses" to paste on our innumerable social networking pages. A way to find peace amidst chaos, a way to find friends amidst husbands, a way to find meaning amidst meaningless conversations, and a way to find Life amidst days, it was an experience.

Bridging the gap between, existing and living, the trip indeed served its purpose, it made us live it up. Looking forward to the ending of another Week, and the opening of another gateway...

PS - Its my entry for the Mypurpose contest on Cleartrip as well, lets try my Luck! :) Here's the link...
My mypurposeEntry   And here it is on Indiblogger - The Weekend That Was

* The Shining *

She is black, and curvy. The rebel in me was adrift with powerful emotions towards her. She would comfort me with the warmth that i always felt, when she is in my arms. She would stare back at me whenever i felt alone and restless, and i would vehemently keep staring at her, aimlessly. She would guide me to my room, amidst the darkness of the gloomy, timid nights, and the reflections of the streetlights fading away from her perfect body would remind me of her presence, everyday. She would stay with me when noone will, and point me to the right direction, whenever i needed her to.

She would be with me, when noone will. she would not gloat, just rumble away to make me aware of her presence. She would not hold me back, when i had to go, nor would she glorify the need for me to be around her all the time. She is the perfect companion. And i affectionately, yet unwillingly log off from my shiny laptop and walk away, to meet my friends. I can still hear the rumbling though, from quite afar.

Stay away from me.....

Separate yourself from what compels you to relinquish us
Push your way on to me, entirely
Stay away from me, stay away from me now
Less you gonna see, less you gonna see me out

No, I can't dance less it's slow or sad
To a song that's far less obvious
You using me, do it slowly
Make it last until I have to go






- honorary Title.. The lyrics are just so melodramatic.. love it...

^- Big Boss -^

A posh office cabin, with the orderly(well almost an orderly) serving Masala tea by the table, a neatly varnished table to throw my junk at! A perfectly charming secretary to jot down my Todo list, and a silver tipped fountain pen, signifying my status at the company. A vertical, crystal clear sliding window, preferably, with an inviting view of the next skyscraper in the nearing vicinity, mirroring another workaholic wannabe.














I long to use the fountain pen someday, and throw something non-junk-like at the table for once. I long to sip the tea while its still leaking vapour, and to cover the sun, through the glass window, before it sets without me knowing about it. I long to overhear the whispers about my ability to mix with the commoners. I long to understand the woes of the commoner, without being one. I long to belong, for once.

*- Shriek -*

"Stop, Make it Stop!" Have you thought aloud lately? I find it hard to resist!

I was thinking aloud yet again! And the commute by the Company cab, yuck, makes me scream!!

 



The regional radio, that wouldn't stop! The creaky cab windows, shrieking for a tune-up, the honky honks of the harky horns, keeps the eyebrows twitched for the entirety of my journey!

"Shut up", and pardoning myself from every irritated shadow that moved with a twitched eyebrow, mostly from my frowny shrieks, in front of me, i couldn't resist, yet again. Not thinking aloud is just .. plain hard!