!! Single !!

Watching the love-struck, coochie-coo'ey, couples passing through the streets, holding hands, oozy eyed, and perfectly in harmony with their emotions, its hard not to visualize what could have been. "If only, there was someone who could land those, dreamy eyed stares at you, passionate, soothing, mesmerizing. If only, there was someone, to share those emotional outburts that come out in volcanic proportions from within, every other instant."

Inside the boundaries of self loathing, sadness, and anxiety, one inevitably, starts to reason with their current situation.
"Why I am single? More fun, More control, More of me, and less of everyone else. Nobody to constantly try and please. No one to show attempts of fake appreciation and interest for. As a single soul, I can do what i really want. But.." 
____ and the thought process abruptly halts, at the slightest hint of self pity or in more gentler words, indecision.

Yet, I can never decipher whether its self pity, or a sense of ambiguity created by excessive enthusiastic fun and self-indulgence. But, the fact of the matter remains. The pain of a shattering relationship experience, and the need for the next one to be a happy one, makes it really hard to decide. "Waiting for the right person to come along" - seems the perfect reply to any remarks on your current status. And "Complicated" seems to have become the new and hip statement for one to have on our social networking "Walls" as we call them. Without the embarrassment of being "single" and attracting any sympathetic remarks on being "Married", this was perfect. Let them keep guessing. But then again, "If Only...."

But, the fact of the matter remains, "What Do we Really Want?" I'll have what they're having. Or Anything that comes my way. Let's just call it Indecision for now, But....